Dear Grace...

My boyfriend keeps pressuring me to go further. How far is too far to go?


Dear Cicelly, 

Your boyfriend is not in control of this relationship—you have a say, too. When he allows his desires to go unchecked, your "no" is your last defense. If you have made your desire clear and your boyfriend is not honouring it—please understand this—it should not have to be that way. If he cares for you, he will not put you in a situation that makes you uncomfortable. If he cares for you, he will respect you; if he cares for you, he will have patience, kindness and self-control.

Who do you want to please? God, your boyfriend, or yourself?

Decide today where  your line is between purity and impurity. Then allow God to shape you into a woman of integrity and beauty.

Paul gives us some helpful guidelines in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20: “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honour God with your bodies.”  So whatever violates your sense of right and whatever dishonours God is too far.

This is a really tough question in our day and age. The lines were a whole lot clearer in the days when dates had to be chaperoned! So remember that if you do go “too far,” God forgives you and in repentance offers you renewed strength to answer this question in a way that honours God!